Phantom Bastards
by Jo-is-a-Ho-RJ13
Summary: No big deal, just some trouble-making twins, a Hannah Montana singing brother, and a ghost-killing Chevrolet. Crack!fic


**Who: Jack and Gretel**

**What: Jack and Gretel decide to have a little adventure and pretend to be ghosts. Unbeknownst to them, Dean and Sam Winchester are ghost hunters!**

**Where: Darby, Montana**

**Why: Jack and Gretel just wanna have fun.**

**No big deal, just some trouble-making twins, a Hannah Montana singing brother, and a ghost-killing Chevrolet. Crack!fic**

It was a cool, crisp autumn night in Darby, Montana. Population: 876.

Jack and Gretel, two mischievous twins, who were well-known among the town's small police force, were currently sitting up in a tree plotting how they could drive the town's drunken sheriff crazy.

"Hey Gretel, how 'bout we move Sheriff Mill's house onto the railroad tracks!"

Gretel giggled, "That's stupid Jack! We did that last week!"

Gretel leaned back and closed her eyes in concentration, "I say we take all of his boxers and dye them PINK!"

They both laughed hysterically "But that won't work because he doesn't wear underwear!" Jack said between giggles.

"Hey!" Jack said, gasping for air, "What say you we dress up like ghosts and give the old fart a good scare?"

Gretel snorted her lemonade through her nose, "That's awesome!"

"Really?" Jack laughed, "I was only joking!"

"No! It's perfect- you're a genius!"

"Thank you. Thank you very much- you took the words right out of my mouth."

"Bwuahaha!"

They laughed rubbing their hands together with glee.

**A little while later, at Bobby's house...**

"Hey Sam," Dean says, looking up from his computer, "You gotta see this."

"What is it?" Sam asks, getting up from his game of Bingo.

"Apparently there are reports of a ghost in Darby Montana... that's not too far from here."

"Yeah... so?"

"We should go hunt the phantom bastard!"

*Thwump, thwumple, dumple, dump*

Dean and Sam both look up, startled, as they hear Bobby tumble down the stairs.

"Bingo!" Sam says triumphantly.

"What are you two idjits up to this time?" Bobby growls.

"There's a phantom bastard on the loose, Bobby, and we need to gank it!"

"Yer so pale," Bobby growls, "_You _look like a phantom bastard... it would do you two idjits good to get outta the house for once!"

Dean flips Bobby off and sticks out his tongue, "You're so immature Bobby!"

"At least I don't wear diapers like you... you baby idjit!"

"Screw you, Bobby!" Dean growls angrily storming out of the house towards the Impala.

Sam, seeing that Dean has left, looks desperately towards the door, "Hey! Wait for me! I call shotgun!" He cries, running after Dean.

**A little while later on the way to Montana...**

"You get the beeest of both wooorlds..." Sam sings for the fifth time.

Dean turns around and glares, "Shut up asshole! Now it's stuck in my head!"

Sam scowls, "Are we there yet?"

"Urggh."

"Are we?"

Dean pulls the car to a screeching halt, "That's it. Out! I will put you in the trunk!"

Sam unfolds his lanky legs and climbs out of the car, "Fine." he mutters as he climbs into the trunk, closing the lid behind him.

As the Dean starts the car and speeds off, he can still hear Sam's muffled voice, "Got my haands up, they're playin' my song... noddin' my head like yeah...it's a party in the usaaa..."

**Darby, Montana...**

A few nights later, Sam and Dean are patrolling the neighborhoods looking for the elusive pair of ghosts.

"We've been looking for days Sammy, I haven't seen even a wisp of them!" Dean bitches.

Sam doesn't hear, he just continues muttering to himself, "Don't you wish that you could be a fly on the waall..."

"Seriously dude! Would you quit it with the Hannah-Freakin'-Montana!"

"What? Dude, just chi- hey wait! Look over there!" Sam says gripping Dean's arm and pointing towards the road.

Dean looks over to where Sam's pointing at two white figures loping across the street, "Gotcha phantom bastards!" Dean grits his teeth as he revs the engine.

*Vroom*

He punches the accelerator to the floor.

"Hold on Sammy!"

The Impala lurches forward as it screeches towards the ghostly figures.

"Haha!" Shouts Dean.

"I can't, can't, I can't, can't be taaamed!" Sam screeches.

*SPLAT*

The brothers look at each other, "Think we got them?" Dean quirks an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I think so. Let's get home." Sam smiles.

**The End**


End file.
